Holy Crap, the Hotseat Actually Happened!

What d'ya know... It actually succeeded this time. Despite someone making feeble attempts at rigging the poll votes, only three people asking anything, and the conduit for the answers almost forgetting entirely about it - due largely in part to having an outrageously craptastic week and being excited to finally have a copy of New Moon - the hotseat survived! A few of you asked and Alice/Ali/Al/Hippilice/Jasper's bitch/whatever you call her in your head answered.

So, without further ado, and since Robs is about to disown me for holding out on her re: the answers, on to what Alice (and an unsurprising guest or two) had to say...

In the order received, because that's how they got answered...

From Robin/Robs/Kirmit/Chocolatebrowneyes/my lover (and no you can't have her, Christine):

What do you love most about Namsper?

Alice: *giggles* His accent. Actually, his smile. No, his eyes. Mmm... his body... Wait, I really shouldn't be thinking just physical, should I?

Kim: Probably not.

Alice: But he's so... *lusty look*

Kim: Yeah. He's pretty. We got it.

Alice: And he's so good at... *bites lip*

Kim: ALICE!

Alice: *shakes head to clear thoughts* Sorry! Uhm... His... uhm... Dammit!

Kim: What now?!

Alice: You made me think pervy thoughts!

Kim: I did no such thing!

Alice: Okay, Robs made me think pervy thoughts!

Kim: Just answer the damn question.

Alice: You know she agrees with me.

Kim: Yes. Yes, she does. But she wants your answer, not a regurgitation of her desire to possess and ride your boyfriend like a prize stallion.

Alice: But what if my favorite thing about him is getting to--

Kim: ALICE!!!

Alice: FINE! Uhm... Notpervynotpervynotpervy... Oh! I know. He's really smart. And he's really close to his family. Yeah! There we go! He's a family man. I love that about him. He'll be a good daddy someday... *giggle* Daddy...

Kim: Stop thinking like that. It's perverting my poor, innocent, virgin mind.

Alice: *scoffs* Uh huh. Sure.

Kim: NEXT QUESTION!

Do you plan on living in hippistyle love with Namsper when he gets back?

"Hippie-style love"? You mean, like, in a commune? Like free love? Not a chance in hell. I'm not about to share him with anyone. C'mon... honestly... would you?

What is your favorite place on earth?

You're expecting me to be cliche and say "Anywhere Jasper is," aren't you? You think you know me so well. *sticks out tongue* Public parks. Doesn't really matter which one. They feel so alive in the Spring and they're so beautiful in the Fall. And, no matter what season it is, there are always children playing, laughing. It's enough to make even Edward's grumpy ass smile. Not that his actual ass would smile... You know what I mean...

If you could be anything/anyone, who would you be and why?

Alice: *laughs to herself and tries to stop thinking the words "Mrs. Jasper Whitlock Hale"* Why would I want to be anyone but myself? I've got a nice apartment in a good city, a job I like, incredible friends, and the best many any girl could ever ask for. It's good to be me.

Kim: *cough*cop-out*cough*

Alice: *glare* Fine. I told Jazzy a while ago that I would be a teacher, but I changed my mind. After going through this whole war thing with him... if I could be anyone, I would be the President.

Kim: As in the first woman President?

Alice: Absolutely.

Jasper: No, baby. Pick somethin' else.

Alice: *pouts* Why???

Jasper: 'Cause I don't want some narrow-minded loony shootin' my girl.

Alice: No one's gonna shoot me.

Jasper: Correct. *meaningful look*

Alice: But she said anything... *sigh* Fine. I'd be a damn teacher. Are you all happy now?

Kim: *shrugs*

Jasper: Not if you're not.

Kim: And the award for the most Cheesetastic Comment in the Hotseat to Date goes to...
Alice: Shut up.

Kim: Bite me.

Alice: I am you!
Kim: *thinks* Fuck. I hate when we have a point that works against us.
Alice: Ditto.

Jasper: *shakes head* Women.

Kim and Alice: Shut up!

Jasper: O.O Yes, ma'ams!

From Kristin/K/Calin_Durus/ficwife to my lover who Christine still can't have/BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!!:

Besides "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (totally with your soldier on this being about LSD. I mean, just look at the title!!!) what is your favorite Beatles song and why?

Alice: Okay, first of all, "Lucy" is not about LSD, dammit. It just isn't. It's about a girl named Lucy who has kaleidoscope eyes. Listen to the lyrics sometime. Really. *harrumphs and grumbles to herself* Second, I never said "Lucy" was my favorite. It was just stuck in my head when I met Jazz. My favorite is... uhm... Is it okay to have lots of favorites? I mean, they're The Beatles, after all. It's almost wrong to have just one favorite, don't you think? Disrespects the rest of the songs...

Kim: What gives with you and all the cop-outs today?

Alice: *glares* Fine. "Blackbird," because it's beautiful and uplifting. And "Revolution," because it's "Revolution" and it's great. Ooh! And "Come Together," because it's nonsensical and fun to dance to. And "All You Need is Love," because it's true.

Kim: Again... cop-out...

Alice: You mean I have to narrow it down even more?!
Kim: Uh, yeah. "Favorite" kind of implies one there, sweetheart.

Alice: Dammit. Fine. "All You Need is Love." Happy?

Kim: Quite. But I do have one question...

Alice: What?

Kim: Where's the love, Ali? I thought it was all you needed?

Alice: *glares* Next question.

If given the chance to go back in time and meet Jasper again, would you meet him at the bus stop, or try a different meeting point?

I wouldn't change a thing about the way I met my soldier. Everything went exactly how it was supposed to. If we'd met before then, our relationship wouldn't be nearly as strong as it is. That stupid war taking him away from me is probably the best thing that ever happened to us, as backward as that sounds. And if we'd met after he got home... I'd like to think I wouldn't have even noticed the chair, but, to be honest, I wouldn't want the first thing I felt for the man of my dreams to be unnecessary pity. I rather like that the first thing I felt toward him was a strange combination of desire and frustration. *smiles* It suits him perfectly.

What was your reaction when you realized Rosalie was Jasper's sister? Did you ever tell her how her brother was doing?

Alice: To be completely honest, I didn't even realize they were related until the night she brought him to our meeting. It sounds stupid, I know, but my brain doesn't really like to do logic problems when I'm thinking about Jasper. It never crossed my mind that "Lee-lee" could be a nickname for "Rosalie." Everyone else calls her "Rose" and I guess I never really thought about it. I mean, what are the odds that the depressed chick from the cafe would be the twin sister of the man I fell in love with the day I met him? Not as slim as I thought, apparently. *laughs* Anyway, no, I never did tell her how her brother was doing. Like I said, I never made the connection, and I never named names when I talked about him. I liked having him as my secret. It added a certain edge to things, like we were sneaking around, even though we weren't. It made things even more exciting than they were on their own. As for my reaction...

Jasper: *laughs* That was priceless.

Alice: I was too wrapped up in having Jasper back to even think about the fact that Rose was his sister. Hell, he flat out called her "Lee-lee" the night he came back and I didn't even catch it, because I was too busy basking in the feeling of having my soldier home again.

Jasper: You're cute when you're slow.

Alice: *sarcastic* I love you too, baby. Anyway! After that meeting ended, we talked for a little while. I was ready to just take him home and enjoy having him with me -- not like that either, I swear! Okay, maybe a little like that -- but he said he wanted to go meet Lee-lee at the bar...

Jasper: Her double-take was the funniest thing I've ever seen. "What?! Lee-lee's here?! Lee-lee like your sister Lee-lee?!?" Her eyes went all wide an' her mouth dropped open. She looked like a poor fish someone just yanked out of the river.

Alice: I did not look like a fish!

Jasper: Oh, yes, you did. Prettiest fish I've ever seen, if it helps any.

Alice: *pouts* I was surprised, dammit.

Jasper: Anyway... Her mouth dropped open an' she practically slapped herself coverin' it. She looked at me an' said, "You mean Rosalie?! Rosalie is your sister?!" an' I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna hurt myself.

Alice: *embarrassed* Like I said... I was surprised...

Jasper: I know, baby.
Alice: Is the next question less humiliating?

Kim: *looks at question* I can only assume so. Or at least, I hope so.

Alice: Good.

What is the one thing in your closet you can't live without?

Kim: Clearly not those damn espadrilles she likes to throw at me...

Alice: Hardy har har. I still have a pair left, y'know. *turns to K* My jewelry box. It's nothing special and it doesn't have a lot of jewelry in it, but it means a lot to me. My father bought it for me when he got sick. There's a locked drawer in the bottom where I keep all the letters Jasper sent me.

From Ariel/loves-to-blame/Seriously-Confused/uhm... I think that's it... lol:

Do you believe it was fate or merely coincidence that you met Jasper on the day he left for the war?

Alice: I don't believe in coincidences. Jasper and I were meant to meet, destined even. If it hadn't happened then, it would've happened eventually. But it did happen then, and it was supposed to. It's like I told K, things would be so different now if we'd met at a different time. We probably wouldn't be as close as we are. Think about it - if we'd met earlier, Jazz would've had all the time in the world to go all macho on me and tell me little white lies about himself. *sticks tongue out at him*

Jasper: I would never lie to you!

Alice: *scoffs* Yes, you would. All guys do it. You would've laid that accent on thicker than usual and told me all about the cattle you used to rustle up back home or something else guys think is impressive but really isn't.

Jasper: What if I really did rustle up cattle? An' the term is "wrangle," thank you.

Alice: *eye roll* You're so lucky I love you. Anyway, back to Ariel's question... Long story short, it was Fate. No question.

And that's it, folks. That's all she wrote. Well, that's all I wrote coz that's all she said. Feel like there's something that should've been asked but wasn't? Send it to me! Maybe I'll call Alice back sometime for another little Q&A. In the meantime, we have us another hotseat to attend to!

In light of this week's massive last minute fuckery, I'm throwing the MicroPoll method out the window. No more bullshit, no more fuckery. We're gonna do things a little differently this time.

Your options for the next hotseat are:

Jasper from I Have Seen the Rain/Go Ask Alice

Alice from The Coldest Story Ever Told

Edward from The Coldest Story Ever Told

Bella from I Have Seen the Rain

Edward from I Have Seen the Rain

Know which one you have questions for? Good. Leave me a comment and let me know who. If you don't have a login for this thingamabob and would have to comment anonymously, don't fret! Just be sure to include your FFn name or Twitter name. Either will do. I will not accept completely anonymous votes. Only comments with some sort of identifiable information included will be counted. That way, I prevent the same sort of total bullshit that went down the other night. We good, G?

Okay! You have until... *ponder*... How's Monday for you? Monday work? Hmm... Just in case, let's give it until Wednesday, 24 March 2010. Does that work for everyone? Votes in by midnight EST. Everyone good now? Well, I am, and the people inside my head are, so that's what's getting accounted for right now. lol

Have at it! *awaits free-for-all* What the fuck, people?! Have at it! Hop to! Please? *pouts*