Holy crap -- it's an update!

Short version:
I'm not dead (Injured, yes. But not dead.)... I'm just also not writing right now.

Long version:
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, poppets. A reader (Insert M&M's "They do exist!" ad clip here) just reminded me that it's been three freaking years since I updated my first fic. Three. Years. Omigod. So much has happened in that time. I'm astonished, both that it's been that long and that it's only been that long. That feels like a lifetime ago. Probably because it really was. You don't even want to know. Seriously. You don't. And a lot of it I don't want to talk about. So we're just gonna not talk about that.

Anyway! In light of all the nonsense that's gone on with author (using that term very loosely) Shey Stahl, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and pulling all my stories from FFn using the sudden explosion of free time I have right now to get back into the game and try writing again. I've been out of the "fandom" for so long I don't even remember 85% of what I read, so no worries about me following suit, intentionally or otherwise. lol

So here's the deal: I'm going to reread what I've written and try to write more at least twice a week. I know that doesn't sound like much, but without going into detail, I have a lot of appointments to work around right now, and when I'm better and back to work, I'll be drop-dead tired again. (Professional prep cookery takes the oomph right out of you. lol) But you have my word I am going to try my damnedest at it again.

So... Any comments, words of wisdom, advice, motivational speeches? Feel free to comment. Wanna scream at me for it being so long? Eh, it's a free country, go ahead and comment. Wanna try to sell me something other than Girl Scout cookies or trick me into clicking some link that'll take me to god only knows where while you suck away all my info? Git gone. No love for you here.

All the rest of you... Thanks for sticking with me, or coming back, or just showing up. Whatever.

Much love,

Kim

Lookie Who Got Some Looooooove....

That's right, ladies and germs, I won me somethin'. Well, actually, you all won me somethin'. And in turn, I get this fabulous banner (So simpe, and yet so fantastic, no? And isn't that the same font I used on my crappy banner way back when? lol) and you get cookies! That's right, bitches! Cookies! Just as promised. So yeah... If you voted for me, remind me and I'll send you some cookies. How you gonna remind me? Leave a comment! And make it a good one - this is a party after all!!

At this point, I'm tempted to add music - every party needs music, right? - but anything related would just be sad. I mean, no decent party is going to pump up the jamz with "Heartless". lol I could venture deeper into the playlists I have and go with "Almost Lover" or "Unfaithful" but those don't exactly get people dancing either. Sooooo... if you wanna (and have a clue how to)... feel free to throw some tunes in your comment. Then we can get dooooown with our bad selves. hehe

I'm sorely tempted to put a teaser for something here, but I wouldn't have a clue what to put. I rather think Robs likes being the only one with a clue what's going on in my head of late. lol If you can think of a nice little faster-than-cookies-but-don't-even-try-to-goad-me-into-writing-an-update-right-now reward for yourselves, lemme know and I might just hook ya up. :)

In the mean time... Thanks again, ladies and germs. Validation is a dish best served... to me! XD

Love you all. Mwah!

Check it... New shiz

So, uh... in case you missed it... I dun wrote sumthin' new.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6079274/1/Love_the_Way_You_Lie

If you liked The Other Side of Me, you might enjoy it. Or if you ship Alice/Emmett. (And if you do, I still love you, but I have to say... What. The. Fuck?! Seriously? Even writing that, all I could think was the dude would break the poor girl in two! I mean, I assume Jasper's packin' - call it my own perverse need to assume Jackson is - but Em's a gorram giant! Poor little Alice wouldn't even be able to stand afterward!)

In other news...

- Worked a little on I Have Seen the Rain. Hoping to get somewhere with that and have a new chapter up by the time I leave for Colorado (mid-August). Cross your fingers for me, would ya?

- Still working on Resistance. Might have to post a teaser or something at some point, just to see what people think.

- Working on yet another something new (I know, I know!). Not even gonna lie, I don't want to be working on it. But, as Robs can attest to, it's legit haunting me. To the point that I can't even enjoy the quiet time at the end of my yoga class without characters talking. Hell, I woke up three times last night because one of them wouldn't stop talking and it kept messing with my dreams. Right now, the plan is to get it the hell out of my head. Maybe I'll post it, maybe I won't. We shall see.

Now that that's out of the way... mind doing me a teeny favor? In one way or another, I've put pictures of Alice, Edward, Jasper and Bella from The Coldest Story Ever Told/The Other Side of Me, but Love the Way You Lie is really the first opportunity we've had to see Emmett beyond a mention here or there. So who do you see when you read him? My guess is a lot of you *cough*Annabelle*cough* would say Kellan without a second thought, and that's cool, he's almost always Emmett in my head. So... instead of just giving me a name, give me a picture. Show me your Emmett. Well, your... my Emmett... Eh, you know what I mean. Hook a girl up with some eye candy. ;)

PS - If you're wondering where I got the title for the outtake, quelle surprise, it's a song. http://tinysong.com/w5bC <-- That song, to be specific. Not what you'd expect from me, but at least it's not Kanye or Hannah Montana this time. lol

Blog? What's a blog?

So here's the deal, ladies and germs - I have this little thing called a "blog," but I'm too stupid to remember to update it from time to time. *insert epic face-palm of doom here* Therefore you now get a completely random post that will serve as my feeble attempt to answer all the questions I've gotten and let you know where things stand. So here goes nothin'...

Questions:

• Q. Where the Hale have you been?!
  A. The same place I've always been, Pinky, just a lot more scatterbrained.
• Q. Why hasn't I Have Seen the Rain updated since the beginning of the year? You promised no seven months of nothingness this time!
  A. I know I promised. That was stupid and uncharacteristically optimistic of me. As for why it hasn't updated, same reason most fics stop updating - epic fucking writer's block. I swear to you, I have not given up on I Have Seen the Rain or Go Ask Alice. I still have every intention of completing them both. It's just going to take longer than I'd hoped/expected.
• Q. Why'd you bother writing The Other Side of Me? It ruined The Coldest Story Ever Told's Alice forever!
  A. Sorry you feel that way, but with all due respect, eat me. I'm proud of both of those stories and I'll never please everyone, so please don't expect me to try. (Hell, both of those stories upset one of the most important people to me and I'm still not running off to take them down or change them. She understands.) That said, thank you for being honest with me about what you thought. I value all feedback on my work, even the feedback I'm not terribly fond of.
• Q. I loved The Other Side of Me. Are you planning to continue it?
  A. First things first, to every person who tweeted/reviewed/PM'd me with that message - thank you. From the bottom of my black little empty heart, thank you. *hugs each of you* Oh, and yes, I'm continuing it. Have been since The Coldest Story Ever Told first got posted. It's rough and slow-going and definitely a work in progress, but it's more Alice/Liz and the gang for you (including a fair amount of Jasper's point of view). I do hope you'll like it. You don't object to it being multi-chapter, do you? ;)

I think that just about does it for the questions I've been asked (you know what to do if you have one I didn't answer), so let's move on to a quick status update, shall we?

Story Statuses:

• I Have Seen the Rain - on hiatus due to writer's block *sniffle* (trust me, it pains me at least as much as it does you to see those words)
• Go Ask Alice - on hiatus due to writer's block *tear* Damn I miss hearing Namsper's sexy voice in my head.
• Words Left Unspoken - unless something unimaginable happens when he who inspired Unspokenward comes to visit next month, very much completed
• The Coldest Story Ever Told - completed/sequel in the works
• The Other Side of Me - completed/sequel in the works
• Time After Time - completed... for now ;)
• In Another Life - on hiatus, though that really doesn't mean anything to anyone other than K quite yet. lol
• Resistance - writing in progress! Shocking, I know. Not gonna lie, I am really excited about this one. I think it's good. And it's something no one would really expect from me. Ain't that right, Robs? ;)

Soooo... I think that about does it. Unless one of you-all wants to offer to beta for me. Finished up an outtake I've been working on for a bit at work today and it'd be nice to post something and shut Molly - er, I mean, people in general - up for a bit. :P Just like last time, though, this beta job goes to Annabelle first, if she wants it. After all, it is her graduation present. (Can we call it your birthday present too, Annabelle? I'm so fail at finishing that Badmett thingy. lol)

All that said, got comments? You know what to do. In the meantime, deuces, bitches - I'm out.

Hotseat Fail

So it's a little after midnight... Closing time. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. But enough '90s nostalgia - on to the hotseat free-for-all...

Oh wait. I only have one question. Not much of a hotseat at all, is it? *sigh* Shall we have another go at this?

Free-for-all, ladies. Anyone you want, any question you want. In the spirit of begging you all for more questions, no limit on who or how many questions. Have at 'em. All of 'em. Hell, have at me if you like. (Not like that, Robin. *playful scowl* Okay, but only for you.)

You know the drill. Put 'em in the comments section, DM them to me on Twitter, or email them to me at Makkitotosimew@live.com. I'll give you ample time this time, just to make sure there's time for K to come down from her bitchiness. :P (You know I love you. And you just said the bitch thing yourself, so...) How about we end this shiznit next Friday? May 6th? Y/y? Y.

Do it up, ladies! :-*

Namsper Hotseat - FINALLY

Guess what I finally have! That's right! *squee* Namsper! You asked, Alice interrupted, but he answered. I'd say more crap, but you've waited long enough. Enjoy!

From Robin:

What do you love most about Alice?

Jasper: You expect me to pick just one thing? That might be the hardest question I've ever been asked to answer. *thinks*

Alice: Oh, c'mon, Jazzy. It's not that hard. *whispers conspiratorially to Robs* It's my boobs.

Jasper: *devious smile*

Alice: Told you.

Jasper: I'm a man, dammit! You can't hold that against me! *thinks* Actually...

Alice: *shoves him playfully in the arm*

Jasper: *smiles contentedly at her* Honestly? Her spirit. Nothin' gets my girl down. Not for long, anyway. She's a lover an' a fighter. I love that about her.

What are you most looking forward to when you get home *winkwinknudgenudge*?

*laughs* Somethin' tells me you already figured the answer to that one. Other than that, I'd have to say seein' Lee-lee an' knowin' everythin's alright between us. That an' finally gettin' to hear Ali sing her Beatles tunes.

Can I nom you?

Jasper: Uhm...

Alice: *raises eyebrows*

Jasper: No?

Alice: Good boy. *kisses him on the cheek*

Follow up: Just a little nom? Please? He'll like it.

Jasper: She asked real nice, baby...

Alice: O.O

Jasper: C'mon... Kim loves her. She's gotta be good people, right?

Alice: O.O

Kim: C'mon, Ali. All you need is love, right? *sticks tongue out at her*

Alice: O.O

Jasper: *whispers to Alice* I promise you there is no way I'll like it as much as when you... y'know...

Alice: You'd better not.

Kim: I dunno... My girl's got some skills...

Alice: If she even tries to steal him, there's a shoe with her name on it. And it has a heel. A pointed one. I stole it from Lee-lee.

Kim: Noted.

Alice: *covers eyes* Fine. Have at him. But only a little nom! A little one, you hear me?!

Kim: Little one. Got it. Uhm...is it my turn after Robs?

Alice: WHAT?!

Kim: Kidding! *mumbles* Kinda...

What was the worst part of the war?

Jasper: Apart from bein' blown up? *laughs* Knowin' I was doin' somethin' Ali didn't agree with. Knowin' I was goin' against her wishes an' there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Alice: You know I understood - understand - perfectly...

Jasper: That don't mean you approve of it.

Alice: I do, though. Well, not the war, but you sticking to your morals and doing what you saw as your duty. I'm proud of you for that, baby. How could you not know that?

Jasper: *smiles sheepishly* Really?

Alice: Of course. *climbs into his lap* I'm always proud of you. Choose something else.

Jasper: *thinks* Watchin' my friends die, havin' to carry their corpses back to safety. That... *shakes head*... That ain't somethin' that's easily forgotten.

Alice: *hugs him*

Kim: Erm... happy question time!

What do you miss most about home (can't say Alice)?

Promise you won't laugh? Noise. Well, noise that don't mean you're 'bout to get shot at.

What plans do you have for yours and Alice's lives?

Jasper: *looks at Alice and smiles* I'm gonna marry this woman.

Alice: *blushes and bites her lip*

Jasper: I mean it, Ali. I ain't ever lettin' you go.

Alice: Good. I wouldn't want you to.

Kim: Uhm, I hate to interrupt this sweet, touching moment, but is that really the only plan you have for your lives? Just getting married and living happily ever after?

Jasper: Oh no. After I marry her, we're gonna have babies. Lots of 'em.

Alice: Define "lots." Babies hurt.

Kim: *gigglesnort*

Jasper: Three? Maybe four? All real pretty, like their momma. Smart too.

Alice: With their daddy's accent?

Jasper: If they're really unlucky...

Kim: The odds of that are kind of slim if they're raised in Chicago, don't you think?

Alice: We could always... move...

Kim: You'd move just to make sure your kids have Southern accents? That's kind of messed up, Ali.

Alice: I like Jazzy's accent!

Kim: Yeah, but is it worth moving across the country for?

Alice: Jazzy likes it back home...

Jasper: That's my home, baby, not yours. You really wanna leave all this?

Alice: With you? Yes. I want a big house with a big porch - a white one! - and a swing. And I want a big tree in the front yard with a little swing on it. And I want to learn how to ride a horse and make sweet tea and... uhm... do... other Southern girl stuff.

Jasper: *smiles* Then that's what you'll get. But you're gonna have to learn to drink sweet tea or have lotsa guests or somethin', 'cause I don't drink that stuff. *wrinkles nose*

Alice: Okay!

Kim: Uh, Jazz... Are you sure she needs more sugar? Maybe the sweet tea clause should get left out of this arrangement.

Jasper: *to Alice* You want sweet tea, baby?

Alice: Yes.

Jasper: Then sweet tea you get.

Kim: *face-palm* Y'all are worse than Em and Rose.

Dream up a perfect moment between you and your girl for us please.

Jasper: Funny you should phrase it that way: dream up such a moment. I dreamed it up a long time ago, when I was still overseas. Even wrote Ali a letter about it. I was layin' on the ground, tryin' to sleep an' listenin' to all the sounds around me, an' I looked up an' I swear I saw her standin' there. She was maybe thirty feet away an' she was walkin' along the shore back home, feet sinkin' into the sand, skirt whippin' around her as the wind blew. She was starin' up at the stars an' she turned an' smiled at me; it was the prettiest thing I'd seen since I left. Next thing I knew, I was standin' with her, water splashin' against my legs as I picked her up an' kissed her. She laughed that musical little giggle of hers an' I spun her around as fast as I could, just to hear more of it. We played on the beach for what felt like hours in my dream, splashin' each other an' tryin' to shove each other into the water, an' we fell asleep together on the beach.

Kim: That's really sweet, Jazz.

Jasper: Thank you.

Alice: Take me to the beach, Jazzy.

Kim: Uhm, I don't think we're quite done here, Ali.

Alice: When we're done then?

Jasper: Soon as we're done. I promise. *kisses her hand*

Kim: Damn. Where do I get me one of you?

Alice: I already let Robin borrow him. No more. *clings to him*

Kim: *resigned sigh* Fine.

From Ariel:

What were your thoughts when you saw Alice for the first time? Was there an instant connection, or just simple attraction?

Jasper: I don't think I could explain it if I tried. I saw her, just sittin' there, hummin' her song... *chuckles* She looked more bored than I'd ever seen anyone look before. But she was absolutely beautiful. I had to talk to her. It was like I didn't even have a choice; everythin' in me needed to know her, needed to hear her voice an' learn her entire life story. She just... called to me. *shakes his head, laughing * An' that crazy-ass hair. It's like a spiky little magnet stuck to her head. *ruffles Alice's hair*

Alice: *giggles and swats at him* It takes a lot of work to make me this cute; stop trying to ruin it.

Jasper: *smirks* On the contrary, baby - it takes no time at all.

Kim: Alright, Rico Suave. Next question.

Do you believe it was fate or merely coincidence that you met Alice on the day you left for war?

Jasper: Ali says it's fate, but I don't know.

Alice: It was Fate!

Jasper: I think it was probably just the world's best coincidence.

Alice: *grumbles* Fate, dammit.

Jasper: *eye roll*

Alice: What? You think we weren't meant to be?

Jasper: I think ---

Alice: *raises eyebrows*

Jasper: ...that we are entirely meant to be. I just think it might've been a coincidence that we met then.

Kim: Nice save.

Jasper: Actually, I was gonna say that, scary "careful, the kitten might mew at you" look or not.

Alice: Kitten might mew?!

Jasper: It's a terrifyin' mew, baby, I promise. *pats her knee as she scowls*

Do you still believe Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is about a bad acid trip? And what made you think that it was about a bad trip? Have you ever seen the "Yellow Submarine" video for that song?

Jasper: *laughs* I was afraid someone was gonna ask that.

Alice: Afraid?

Jasper: Yep.

Kim: *giggles* And I know why...

Alice: o.O

Jasper: *sighs, shaking his head* I said I was never gonna tell you this, but I guess I've got no choice now...

Alice: *slightly alarmed* Tell me what?

Jasper: I never thought "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was about a bad trip.

Alice: What?

Jasper: You were singin' your little song---

Alice: "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is not a "little song," Jasper.

Jasper: I know, baby. Like I said, you were hummin' your song an' it just seemed like a really good opener. I mean, pretty girl into The Beatles enough to hum their songs to entertain herself waitin' for the bus probably don't take too kindly to some stranger seemingly insultin' them.

Alice: O.O You used John's work as a pick-up line?!

Jasper: *sheepish look* That's one way of lookin' at it. I like to call it an ice-breaker though.

Alice: An ice-breaker? You called the greatest lyricist of all time a drug addict and you're calling it an ice-breaker?!

Jasper: I never said "addict"...

Alice: *shaking her head* Oh my God...

Kim: *melodramatically deadpan* Yes, Alice, your entire relationship is built on a lie. Oh my goodness. Not that. 'Cause God knows that was a really big, important lie. Not like a teeny little white one that made you give the man of your dreams a second of your time or anything. Nope, nothing like that.

Jasper: *snickers*

Alice: *to Kim* Shut up. *to Jasper* You lied to me.

Jasper: Oh, c'mon, Ali. It was a teeny little lie. Hardly even a lie - a fib, really.

Alice: A fib, Jasper? What is this, kindergarten?

Jasper: *pleading* Ali...

Alice: *turns away from him*

Kim: Ohhhhhh-kay then...

If you could go back in time, how would you change the day you met Alice? Would you have everything the same? Or would you have gone AWOL just to spend some more time with her?

Jasper: *laughs* I love Ali, don't get me wrong - if there's anyone I would go AWOL for, it's her - but I wasn't turnin' deserter for anyone or anything. If I could've had more time with my girl, believe me, I would've taken it in a heartbeat, but I'm not about abandonin' my country, no matter how good the reason.

Kim: You do realize that going AWOL for Ali would've kept you from being hurt, right?

Jasper: We don't know that. I could've gotten hit by a bus runnin' away with her an' still ended up in this chair. Besides, at least this way I can say I'm proud of myself, an' my girl's proud of me too. *kisses the back of Alice's hand* I do think, though, that if I could change anythin', it'd be when I met her.

Kim: What do you mean?

Jasper: Sure, I'm proud I fought for my country an' I'm glad I went over there, even if it did end kinda poorly for me. But if I'd met Ali before I enlisted, I never even would've gone to that recruiter. I would've spent every moment I had showin' her just how much she means to me, an' I never would've left her side.

Alice: *leans over and kisses his cheek*

Besides the thought of returning home to Alice and Rosalie, what else kept you going while you were away?

It wasn't just the thought of comin' home to my two favorite girls - it was feelin' like I was fightin' to protect 'em, to keep 'em safe. It was thinkin' about what would happen if the fightin' spread overseas. An' it was knowin' - thanks to Ali's letters - that what I was doin' was makin' my girl proud of me an' knowin' the same went for Lee-lee too.

What were your exact thoughts when you decided to enlist?

*laughs* I'm not sure I had exact thoughts. It was all kinda jumbled. I was thinkin' my country needed me an' my momma would've been so proud to see me in uniform, standin' up for American rights an' life an' whatnot. I thought Lee-lee might be impressed with me an' it might give me a reason to be impressed with myself. Oh, an' it paid better than workin' at the Dairy Queen. *chuckles*

What are the changes that you see between your former self, the person who you were before you enlisted, and the person you've become after going to war?

Jasper: I didn't really notice any changes until Ali an' Lee-lee started pointin' 'em out left an' right. Lee-lee says I "stand taller." I hope she means that metaphorically.

Alice: She means you carry yourself differently, like you're more confident or proud of yourself. And she's right, you do. You smile more too. *eye roll* At least, now you do. Oh! And you're jumpier.

Jasper: Hey, the doctor said there's a perfectly good explanation for that. It's common after war.

Alice: I know, baby, but that doesn't mean it's not a noticeable change.

Jasper: Can't we just stick to the good ones?

Alice: No. Just be honest, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Jasper: Fine. If I'm bein' honest, I think the biggest change is how many terrible dreams I have. It was worst when I first came home, but even now, without Ali beside me at night, I can't sleep without dreamin' about horrible, terrifyin' things. Leaves me tired all the damn time.

Alice: Not to mention you're always in pain all the time. I know you try to hide it, baby, but I can see it in your eyes. You're not a very good actor.

Jasper: *smiles* Maybe you're just too perceptive for your own good.

Alice: Could be, but I think I'd prefer to stick with calling you a poor liar. *giggles*

Jasper: *shakes head* Whatever makes you happy, Ali.

How did you feel about being away from your loved ones and knowing they constantly worried if you were dead or alive?

That was easily the worst part of bein' over there. Bein' thousands of miles away was bad enough, but thinkin' that Ali spent all the time between letters worryin' about my safety just about killed me. It was so hard bein' honest with her like she wanted me to be. There were so many horrible things I had to tell her, so many things I knew would scare her or upset her. It was brutal. An' Lee-lee... God, she didn't even try to hide her worry like Ali did. Letter after letter, "I'm worried about you, Jay," "I'm scared you won't come home," "I need my brother, and not in a damn box!" I think that hurt worse than bein' injured.

If you could erase your whole army experience, and go back to the time you met Alice just as an average citizen, would you do it?

Jasper: In a heartbeat.

Alice: *scoffs* What makes you think I would've given you the time of day without that uniform and your little sob story about being a "lonely soldier"?

Jasper: *grins* 'Cause I'm charmin'. An' I knew the words to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" off the top of my head.

Alice: That got you brownie points, but the uniform's what got my attention.

Kim: *laughs* Now who's the poor liar? The uniform was just a perk and you know it. He had you at "You know..." just because of the accent.

Alice: *blushes*

Jasper: Busted.

Alice: Alright, fine. He could've opened with "You remind me of my toothless great-grandma," and I would've been sold on him.

Jasper: Great-granny Hale had all her teeth until the day she died, y'know.

Alice: *smirks* What about Great-granny Whitlock?

Jasper: That don't matter.

Alice: *laughs triumphantly*

Jasper: You do kinda look like her though, now that I think about it...

Alice: *whacks him on the arm*

Jasper: Hey, Great-grampa Whitlock always said she was a looker in her day.

Alice: *scowls at him*

Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?

Jasper: Just one - not patchin' things up with Lee-lee before I left. That could've saved a lot of trouble an' heartache for both of us. But we're both too stubborn to admit when we're wrong.

Alice: *mumbles* Ain't that the truth.

Jasper: *glares at her* It's a Hale family trait. We must be distant cousins of the Masens or somethin', 'cause they've all got it too.

Alice: I am not stubborn!

Kim: And you'll argue that to the day you die, won't you?

Alice: Yes!

Kim and Jasper: *laughs hysterically*

Alice: Hey!
Kim: *still laughing* Moving on...

What do you think the future has in store for you?

*looks at Alice* A whole lotta happiness... with a few bumps along the way.

From Fer (I did not see this one coming):

Dear Namsper: Can I get a kiss?!?! A tiny one?! On the cheek? :*

Alice: What is with these girls???

Kim: *shrugs* Jasper's in high demand.

Jasper: *grins*

Kim: I mean, he's pretty. And like he said, he's charming. You want him, don't you?

Alice: Of course I want him!

Kim: Then how can you blame the rest of us for wanting him?

Alice: Us?!

Kim: Erm... them! Rest of them. *shifty eyes* Jasper! What's your answer?

Alice: No.

Jasper: It's only fair, Ali. Robin got a nom, didn't she?

Alice: *sighs* They're light Christmas lights - when one puts out, they all put out.

Kim: *chuckles* I think that's "goes out," Ali.

Alice: You heard me.

Kim: She only asked for a kiss. A tiny one on the cheek, even. Very innocent.

Alice: Yeah, yeah. They're all innocent at first.

Kim: *whispers* She has a thing for your cousin. I wouldn't worry.

Alice: Really? Hmmm. Okay then. *sighs* I'm okay with it if you're okay with it, Jazzy.

Jasper: Kissin' a pretty girl? Why the hell would I not be okay with that?

Alice: *narrows her eyes at him*

Jasper: If it doesn't upset the only girl that matters, I mean.

Kim: Nice save.

Jasper: *chuckles* Thanks.

Alice: Okay, get it over with already.

Jasper: *kisses Fer on the cheek*

Kim: She's Mexican - kiss one cheek, you have to kiss the other.

Alice: Oh that is just---

Kim: *claps a hand over Alice's mouth*

Jasper: *kisses Fer's other cheek*

Alice: *pulls Kim's hand away* Great. Anyone else want to kiss my man while we're just doling out his love her?

Kim: *points to cheek*

Alice: You have got to be kidding me...

Jasper: *kisses Kim on the cheek*

Kim: *blushes*

Alice: I suppose you're Mexican and need a second kiss too?

Kim: Nope. But I am French... *waggles eyebrows and giggles*

Alice: End of interview! No more. Done. Beach time.

Jasper: *laughs* Yes, baby, beach time.

Alice: *storms off*

Kim: *taps other cheek*

Jasper: *sneaks in a second kiss*

Alice: I SAW THAT!

There ya have it, ladies and possible gent or two. Whatcha think? Are his answers satisfactory, or does our favorite Southern soldier have a little more... satisfying... to do? (God, flirting with the Twitter Jasper has made my head all sorts of extra pervy. Loves it!)

So... I made y'all a little promise a couple days ago. You held up your end by not giving me shit about taking so long, so I'll hold up my end. The next hotseat is anyone you want. Anyone at all. The rules for this little free-for-all are as follows:

1. Any character I've written may be asked a question - including characters we've already had in the hotseat.
2. There is no limit on how many characters you may ask.
3. For each character you choose, you may ask two questions - so make them good!
4. If you ask something that could result in a spoiler, whether or not it gets answered and how thorough any answer may be is entirely up to me.
5. If you think a question you're asking could result in a spoiler, feel free to include alternate questions. Just be sure they're in the order you'd like them answered.
6. Send questions to me - include which character they're for! I'm not canon Edward - either by DM on Twitter or to Makkitotosimew@live.com by Wednesday, 28 April. I will do everything in my power to post the answers before May begins. You have my word. As Jackson is my witness.

Sound good? As usual, questions, comments, bitchery - you know where it goes. *points to comment box*

Namsper Hotseat News

Okay, I know y'all are getting impatient, and I can't in the least say I blame you - I'd be impatient as fuck if I were in your shoes too... but... I have to ask you to be even a little bit more patient with me than you already have been. Real life is kind of kicking me in the ass lately. Sure, one of those kicks to my fat ass is that it gave me a job (a short term, low-paying one, alas), but that means less time at home on the computer, doing what I like. And the other kicks aren't nearly as awesome as the job (ie - medical issues I'm sure you don't want to hear me bitch about).

So! Here's the deal. If you can just bear with me until I get the answers posted - which I am really hoping to get to tomorrow (oh crap, technically today) - the next hotseat we'll do as a wild card. Any character, any question. Look at it as a good chance to ask Alice from The Coldest Story Ever Told (and now The Other Side of Me) all those questions you didn't think of without having her side of things. Or maybe you have a question or two for Edward - any of them! lol Rumor has it there are even questions for Rosalie and Emmett from I Have Seen the Rain. (Now those I'd be really interested to see. Just don't ask me if he dies. I ain't tellin'. :P)

So there you have it - a little update on why I'm so fail lately and my solemn word to let you ask anything and everything next time as a thank you for putting up with the aforementioned fail. Who loves ya? That's right - I love ya. Like Kel loves orange soda, I do, I do, I do-ooh. And I don't care how fucking weird that sounds to any of you. It's true. (And Kel was boss, don't deny it.)

Oh! Just out of curiosity - not an official poll, of course - but who are you most looking forward to asking things of in the hotseat free-for-all? I'm intrigued to see what's been plaguing your minds and eating at your consciences. *rubs hands together evilly* hehe