Namsper Hotseat - FINALLY

Guess what I finally have! That's right! *squee* Namsper! You asked, Alice interrupted, but he answered. I'd say more crap, but you've waited long enough. Enjoy!

From Robin:

What do you love most about Alice?

Jasper: You expect me to pick just one thing? That might be the hardest question I've ever been asked to answer. *thinks*

Alice: Oh, c'mon, Jazzy. It's not that hard. *whispers conspiratorially to Robs* It's my boobs.

Jasper: *devious smile*

Alice: Told you.

Jasper: I'm a man, dammit! You can't hold that against me! *thinks* Actually...

Alice: *shoves him playfully in the arm*

Jasper: *smiles contentedly at her* Honestly? Her spirit. Nothin' gets my girl down. Not for long, anyway. She's a lover an' a fighter. I love that about her.

What are you most looking forward to when you get home *winkwinknudgenudge*?

*laughs* Somethin' tells me you already figured the answer to that one. Other than that, I'd have to say seein' Lee-lee an' knowin' everythin's alright between us. That an' finally gettin' to hear Ali sing her Beatles tunes.

Can I nom you?

Jasper: Uhm...

Alice: *raises eyebrows*

Jasper: No?

Alice: Good boy. *kisses him on the cheek*

Follow up: Just a little nom? Please? He'll like it.

Jasper: She asked real nice, baby...

Alice: O.O

Jasper: C'mon... Kim loves her. She's gotta be good people, right?

Alice: O.O

Kim: C'mon, Ali. All you need is love, right? *sticks tongue out at her*

Alice: O.O

Jasper: *whispers to Alice* I promise you there is no way I'll like it as much as when you... y'know...

Alice: You'd better not.

Kim: I dunno... My girl's got some skills...

Alice: If she even tries to steal him, there's a shoe with her name on it. And it has a heel. A pointed one. I stole it from Lee-lee.

Kim: Noted.

Alice: *covers eyes* Fine. Have at him. But only a little nom! A little one, you hear me?!

Kim: Little one. Got it. Uhm...is it my turn after Robs?

Alice: WHAT?!

Kim: Kidding! *mumbles* Kinda...

What was the worst part of the war?

Jasper: Apart from bein' blown up? *laughs* Knowin' I was doin' somethin' Ali didn't agree with. Knowin' I was goin' against her wishes an' there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Alice: You know I understood - understand - perfectly...

Jasper: That don't mean you approve of it.

Alice: I do, though. Well, not the war, but you sticking to your morals and doing what you saw as your duty. I'm proud of you for that, baby. How could you not know that?

Jasper: *smiles sheepishly* Really?

Alice: Of course. *climbs into his lap* I'm always proud of you. Choose something else.

Jasper: *thinks* Watchin' my friends die, havin' to carry their corpses back to safety. That... *shakes head*... That ain't somethin' that's easily forgotten.

Alice: *hugs him*

Kim: Erm... happy question time!

What do you miss most about home (can't say Alice)?

Promise you won't laugh? Noise. Well, noise that don't mean you're 'bout to get shot at.

What plans do you have for yours and Alice's lives?

Jasper: *looks at Alice and smiles* I'm gonna marry this woman.

Alice: *blushes and bites her lip*

Jasper: I mean it, Ali. I ain't ever lettin' you go.

Alice: Good. I wouldn't want you to.

Kim: Uhm, I hate to interrupt this sweet, touching moment, but is that really the only plan you have for your lives? Just getting married and living happily ever after?

Jasper: Oh no. After I marry her, we're gonna have babies. Lots of 'em.

Alice: Define "lots." Babies hurt.

Kim: *gigglesnort*

Jasper: Three? Maybe four? All real pretty, like their momma. Smart too.

Alice: With their daddy's accent?

Jasper: If they're really unlucky...

Kim: The odds of that are kind of slim if they're raised in Chicago, don't you think?

Alice: We could always... move...

Kim: You'd move just to make sure your kids have Southern accents? That's kind of messed up, Ali.

Alice: I like Jazzy's accent!

Kim: Yeah, but is it worth moving across the country for?

Alice: Jazzy likes it back home...

Jasper: That's my home, baby, not yours. You really wanna leave all this?

Alice: With you? Yes. I want a big house with a big porch - a white one! - and a swing. And I want a big tree in the front yard with a little swing on it. And I want to learn how to ride a horse and make sweet tea and... uhm... do... other Southern girl stuff.

Jasper: *smiles* Then that's what you'll get. But you're gonna have to learn to drink sweet tea or have lotsa guests or somethin', 'cause I don't drink that stuff. *wrinkles nose*

Alice: Okay!

Kim: Uh, Jazz... Are you sure she needs more sugar? Maybe the sweet tea clause should get left out of this arrangement.

Jasper: *to Alice* You want sweet tea, baby?

Alice: Yes.

Jasper: Then sweet tea you get.

Kim: *face-palm* Y'all are worse than Em and Rose.

Dream up a perfect moment between you and your girl for us please.

Jasper: Funny you should phrase it that way: dream up such a moment. I dreamed it up a long time ago, when I was still overseas. Even wrote Ali a letter about it. I was layin' on the ground, tryin' to sleep an' listenin' to all the sounds around me, an' I looked up an' I swear I saw her standin' there. She was maybe thirty feet away an' she was walkin' along the shore back home, feet sinkin' into the sand, skirt whippin' around her as the wind blew. She was starin' up at the stars an' she turned an' smiled at me; it was the prettiest thing I'd seen since I left. Next thing I knew, I was standin' with her, water splashin' against my legs as I picked her up an' kissed her. She laughed that musical little giggle of hers an' I spun her around as fast as I could, just to hear more of it. We played on the beach for what felt like hours in my dream, splashin' each other an' tryin' to shove each other into the water, an' we fell asleep together on the beach.

Kim: That's really sweet, Jazz.

Jasper: Thank you.

Alice: Take me to the beach, Jazzy.

Kim: Uhm, I don't think we're quite done here, Ali.

Alice: When we're done then?

Jasper: Soon as we're done. I promise. *kisses her hand*

Kim: Damn. Where do I get me one of you?

Alice: I already let Robin borrow him. No more. *clings to him*

Kim: *resigned sigh* Fine.

From Ariel:

What were your thoughts when you saw Alice for the first time? Was there an instant connection, or just simple attraction?

Jasper: I don't think I could explain it if I tried. I saw her, just sittin' there, hummin' her song... *chuckles* She looked more bored than I'd ever seen anyone look before. But she was absolutely beautiful. I had to talk to her. It was like I didn't even have a choice; everythin' in me needed to know her, needed to hear her voice an' learn her entire life story. She just... called to me. *shakes his head, laughing * An' that crazy-ass hair. It's like a spiky little magnet stuck to her head. *ruffles Alice's hair*

Alice: *giggles and swats at him* It takes a lot of work to make me this cute; stop trying to ruin it.

Jasper: *smirks* On the contrary, baby - it takes no time at all.

Kim: Alright, Rico Suave. Next question.

Do you believe it was fate or merely coincidence that you met Alice on the day you left for war?

Jasper: Ali says it's fate, but I don't know.

Alice: It was Fate!

Jasper: I think it was probably just the world's best coincidence.

Alice: *grumbles* Fate, dammit.

Jasper: *eye roll*

Alice: What? You think we weren't meant to be?

Jasper: I think ---

Alice: *raises eyebrows*

Jasper: ...that we are entirely meant to be. I just think it might've been a coincidence that we met then.

Kim: Nice save.

Jasper: Actually, I was gonna say that, scary "careful, the kitten might mew at you" look or not.

Alice: Kitten might mew?!

Jasper: It's a terrifyin' mew, baby, I promise. *pats her knee as she scowls*

Do you still believe Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is about a bad acid trip? And what made you think that it was about a bad trip? Have you ever seen the "Yellow Submarine" video for that song?

Jasper: *laughs* I was afraid someone was gonna ask that.

Alice: Afraid?

Jasper: Yep.

Kim: *giggles* And I know why...

Alice: o.O

Jasper: *sighs, shaking his head* I said I was never gonna tell you this, but I guess I've got no choice now...

Alice: *slightly alarmed* Tell me what?

Jasper: I never thought "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was about a bad trip.

Alice: What?

Jasper: You were singin' your little song---

Alice: "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is not a "little song," Jasper.

Jasper: I know, baby. Like I said, you were hummin' your song an' it just seemed like a really good opener. I mean, pretty girl into The Beatles enough to hum their songs to entertain herself waitin' for the bus probably don't take too kindly to some stranger seemingly insultin' them.

Alice: O.O You used John's work as a pick-up line?!

Jasper: *sheepish look* That's one way of lookin' at it. I like to call it an ice-breaker though.

Alice: An ice-breaker? You called the greatest lyricist of all time a drug addict and you're calling it an ice-breaker?!

Jasper: I never said "addict"...

Alice: *shaking her head* Oh my God...

Kim: *melodramatically deadpan* Yes, Alice, your entire relationship is built on a lie. Oh my goodness. Not that. 'Cause God knows that was a really big, important lie. Not like a teeny little white one that made you give the man of your dreams a second of your time or anything. Nope, nothing like that.

Jasper: *snickers*

Alice: *to Kim* Shut up. *to Jasper* You lied to me.

Jasper: Oh, c'mon, Ali. It was a teeny little lie. Hardly even a lie - a fib, really.

Alice: A fib, Jasper? What is this, kindergarten?

Jasper: *pleading* Ali...

Alice: *turns away from him*

Kim: Ohhhhhh-kay then...

If you could go back in time, how would you change the day you met Alice? Would you have everything the same? Or would you have gone AWOL just to spend some more time with her?

Jasper: *laughs* I love Ali, don't get me wrong - if there's anyone I would go AWOL for, it's her - but I wasn't turnin' deserter for anyone or anything. If I could've had more time with my girl, believe me, I would've taken it in a heartbeat, but I'm not about abandonin' my country, no matter how good the reason.

Kim: You do realize that going AWOL for Ali would've kept you from being hurt, right?

Jasper: We don't know that. I could've gotten hit by a bus runnin' away with her an' still ended up in this chair. Besides, at least this way I can say I'm proud of myself, an' my girl's proud of me too. *kisses the back of Alice's hand* I do think, though, that if I could change anythin', it'd be when I met her.

Kim: What do you mean?

Jasper: Sure, I'm proud I fought for my country an' I'm glad I went over there, even if it did end kinda poorly for me. But if I'd met Ali before I enlisted, I never even would've gone to that recruiter. I would've spent every moment I had showin' her just how much she means to me, an' I never would've left her side.

Alice: *leans over and kisses his cheek*

Besides the thought of returning home to Alice and Rosalie, what else kept you going while you were away?

It wasn't just the thought of comin' home to my two favorite girls - it was feelin' like I was fightin' to protect 'em, to keep 'em safe. It was thinkin' about what would happen if the fightin' spread overseas. An' it was knowin' - thanks to Ali's letters - that what I was doin' was makin' my girl proud of me an' knowin' the same went for Lee-lee too.

What were your exact thoughts when you decided to enlist?

*laughs* I'm not sure I had exact thoughts. It was all kinda jumbled. I was thinkin' my country needed me an' my momma would've been so proud to see me in uniform, standin' up for American rights an' life an' whatnot. I thought Lee-lee might be impressed with me an' it might give me a reason to be impressed with myself. Oh, an' it paid better than workin' at the Dairy Queen. *chuckles*

What are the changes that you see between your former self, the person who you were before you enlisted, and the person you've become after going to war?

Jasper: I didn't really notice any changes until Ali an' Lee-lee started pointin' 'em out left an' right. Lee-lee says I "stand taller." I hope she means that metaphorically.

Alice: She means you carry yourself differently, like you're more confident or proud of yourself. And she's right, you do. You smile more too. *eye roll* At least, now you do. Oh! And you're jumpier.

Jasper: Hey, the doctor said there's a perfectly good explanation for that. It's common after war.

Alice: I know, baby, but that doesn't mean it's not a noticeable change.

Jasper: Can't we just stick to the good ones?

Alice: No. Just be honest, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Jasper: Fine. If I'm bein' honest, I think the biggest change is how many terrible dreams I have. It was worst when I first came home, but even now, without Ali beside me at night, I can't sleep without dreamin' about horrible, terrifyin' things. Leaves me tired all the damn time.

Alice: Not to mention you're always in pain all the time. I know you try to hide it, baby, but I can see it in your eyes. You're not a very good actor.

Jasper: *smiles* Maybe you're just too perceptive for your own good.

Alice: Could be, but I think I'd prefer to stick with calling you a poor liar. *giggles*

Jasper: *shakes head* Whatever makes you happy, Ali.

How did you feel about being away from your loved ones and knowing they constantly worried if you were dead or alive?

That was easily the worst part of bein' over there. Bein' thousands of miles away was bad enough, but thinkin' that Ali spent all the time between letters worryin' about my safety just about killed me. It was so hard bein' honest with her like she wanted me to be. There were so many horrible things I had to tell her, so many things I knew would scare her or upset her. It was brutal. An' Lee-lee... God, she didn't even try to hide her worry like Ali did. Letter after letter, "I'm worried about you, Jay," "I'm scared you won't come home," "I need my brother, and not in a damn box!" I think that hurt worse than bein' injured.

If you could erase your whole army experience, and go back to the time you met Alice just as an average citizen, would you do it?

Jasper: In a heartbeat.

Alice: *scoffs* What makes you think I would've given you the time of day without that uniform and your little sob story about being a "lonely soldier"?

Jasper: *grins* 'Cause I'm charmin'. An' I knew the words to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" off the top of my head.

Alice: That got you brownie points, but the uniform's what got my attention.

Kim: *laughs* Now who's the poor liar? The uniform was just a perk and you know it. He had you at "You know..." just because of the accent.

Alice: *blushes*

Jasper: Busted.

Alice: Alright, fine. He could've opened with "You remind me of my toothless great-grandma," and I would've been sold on him.

Jasper: Great-granny Hale had all her teeth until the day she died, y'know.

Alice: *smirks* What about Great-granny Whitlock?

Jasper: That don't matter.

Alice: *laughs triumphantly*

Jasper: You do kinda look like her though, now that I think about it...

Alice: *whacks him on the arm*

Jasper: Hey, Great-grampa Whitlock always said she was a looker in her day.

Alice: *scowls at him*

Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?

Jasper: Just one - not patchin' things up with Lee-lee before I left. That could've saved a lot of trouble an' heartache for both of us. But we're both too stubborn to admit when we're wrong.

Alice: *mumbles* Ain't that the truth.

Jasper: *glares at her* It's a Hale family trait. We must be distant cousins of the Masens or somethin', 'cause they've all got it too.

Alice: I am not stubborn!

Kim: And you'll argue that to the day you die, won't you?

Alice: Yes!

Kim and Jasper: *laughs hysterically*

Alice: Hey!
Kim: *still laughing* Moving on...

What do you think the future has in store for you?

*looks at Alice* A whole lotta happiness... with a few bumps along the way.

From Fer (I did not see this one coming):

Dear Namsper: Can I get a kiss?!?! A tiny one?! On the cheek? :*

Alice: What is with these girls???

Kim: *shrugs* Jasper's in high demand.

Jasper: *grins*

Kim: I mean, he's pretty. And like he said, he's charming. You want him, don't you?

Alice: Of course I want him!

Kim: Then how can you blame the rest of us for wanting him?

Alice: Us?!

Kim: Erm... them! Rest of them. *shifty eyes* Jasper! What's your answer?

Alice: No.

Jasper: It's only fair, Ali. Robin got a nom, didn't she?

Alice: *sighs* They're light Christmas lights - when one puts out, they all put out.

Kim: *chuckles* I think that's "goes out," Ali.

Alice: You heard me.

Kim: She only asked for a kiss. A tiny one on the cheek, even. Very innocent.

Alice: Yeah, yeah. They're all innocent at first.

Kim: *whispers* She has a thing for your cousin. I wouldn't worry.

Alice: Really? Hmmm. Okay then. *sighs* I'm okay with it if you're okay with it, Jazzy.

Jasper: Kissin' a pretty girl? Why the hell would I not be okay with that?

Alice: *narrows her eyes at him*

Jasper: If it doesn't upset the only girl that matters, I mean.

Kim: Nice save.

Jasper: *chuckles* Thanks.

Alice: Okay, get it over with already.

Jasper: *kisses Fer on the cheek*

Kim: She's Mexican - kiss one cheek, you have to kiss the other.

Alice: Oh that is just---

Kim: *claps a hand over Alice's mouth*

Jasper: *kisses Fer's other cheek*

Alice: *pulls Kim's hand away* Great. Anyone else want to kiss my man while we're just doling out his love her?

Kim: *points to cheek*

Alice: You have got to be kidding me...

Jasper: *kisses Kim on the cheek*

Kim: *blushes*

Alice: I suppose you're Mexican and need a second kiss too?

Kim: Nope. But I am French... *waggles eyebrows and giggles*

Alice: End of interview! No more. Done. Beach time.

Jasper: *laughs* Yes, baby, beach time.

Alice: *storms off*

Kim: *taps other cheek*

Jasper: *sneaks in a second kiss*

Alice: I SAW THAT!

There ya have it, ladies and possible gent or two. Whatcha think? Are his answers satisfactory, or does our favorite Southern soldier have a little more... satisfying... to do? (God, flirting with the Twitter Jasper has made my head all sorts of extra pervy. Loves it!)

So... I made y'all a little promise a couple days ago. You held up your end by not giving me shit about taking so long, so I'll hold up my end. The next hotseat is anyone you want. Anyone at all. The rules for this little free-for-all are as follows:

1. Any character I've written may be asked a question - including characters we've already had in the hotseat.
2. There is no limit on how many characters you may ask.
3. For each character you choose, you may ask two questions - so make them good!
4. If you ask something that could result in a spoiler, whether or not it gets answered and how thorough any answer may be is entirely up to me.
5. If you think a question you're asking could result in a spoiler, feel free to include alternate questions. Just be sure they're in the order you'd like them answered.
6. Send questions to me - include which character they're for! I'm not canon Edward - either by DM on Twitter or to Makkitotosimew@live.com by Wednesday, 28 April. I will do everything in my power to post the answers before May begins. You have my word. As Jackson is my witness.

Sound good? As usual, questions, comments, bitchery - you know where it goes. *points to comment box*